I just finished a great book by Nora Gallagher called Practicing Resurrection. The book documents Gallagher's discerment of a call to the priesthood. I was struck by how much I identified with Gallagher's struggle. There were things about being a priest she liked and then there were things she didn't. In the end she decided she is called to inhabit the space inbetween being a layperson and a priest. She wanted to live in this space a bit longer “Becuase the priesthood of the laity was so neglected in the church, I knew now it was crucial to live it further out, so as to allow it to reveal itself, step by step. It wasn't a call, it's a response.”
As a Presbyterian, I'm a faithful follower of reformed theology. One of the things that distinguishes reformed theology is the belief in the priesthood of all believers. Clergy and laity serve side by side sharing in the leadership of the church. Our vocation is the way in which we respond to the many gifts God has given us; how we live our lives. The community calls forward certain individuals to serve various roles according to the needs of the church at particular times. In the Presbyterian church, individuals are ordained to three positions: minister of the word and sacrament, elder, and deacon.
I find myself in a place like Gallagher – wondering if my response to the gifts God has given me is to be a minister of Word and Sacrament or is it to something else – living fully into the office I have already been ordained to, elder, as well as something that is not well known in my part of the country, spiritual director.
One thing I know for sure, my path is not like others who have gone before me. I don't find myself with a clear sense of direction – actually that is not true. I do have a clear sence of direction, problem is my sense of things doesn't match with the folks I am in community with. Most folks assume becaue I talk the way I do – I should be a pastor or if you are struggling with a spiritual matter – you should talk to your pastor. I had one friend tell me I should be a pastor becaue the pastor is the role folks are used to. I also contend Christian Educator is the role folks are used to. I know many folks who are in one of these roles and I think they are valuable roles, but I do believe something new is developing – the role of the spiritual director in the church.
As I wonder about my vocation, I turn to the Book of Order and the specific responsibilites of an Elder (G-6.0303): “It is the duty of elders, individually and jointly, to strengthen and nurutre the faith and life of the congregation committed to their charge. Together with the pastor, they should encourage the people in the worship and service of God, equip and renew them for their tasks within the church and for their mission in the world, visit and comfort and care for the people, with special attention to the poor, the sick, the lonely, and those who are oppressed. They should inform the pastor and session of those persons and structures which may need special attention (I live this out fully :) ) They should cultivate their ability to teach the Bible and may be authorized to supply places which are without the regular ministry of the Word and Sacrament. In specific circumstance and with proper instruction, specific elders may be authorized by the presbytery to administer the Lord's Supper...” That sounds about like who I am. I want to live fully into this calling as that is who I am....even if being something or someone else is what is more well known.
